Hear me out…. I am a spiritual person in the sense of I believe in the universe, I believe I harness my own magic and power, and I believe that things happen for a reason. The word “empath” and “intuitive” have become buzz words over the last several years. I don’t know about you, but when things are overly trendy, I want to run lol! When you think of being an empath, your immediate thought is likely “someone who feels other people’s emotions deeply.” According to the googs, empaths feel more empathy than the “average human”, whatever-the-fuck that means. I myself have labeled myself as an empathy and on my recent journey into more growth I think that’s changed. I want to explore this with you as well and give you some food for thought.
Did you grow up feeling responsible for the happiness of other people? Were you told “if you don’t do this, XYZ will be upset” or being told “you made me feel this way”? Hear me out, if you were made to feel responsible for other people’s emotions, you are likely a people pleasing adult. Meaning, you never want other people to be upset or struggling. So, what does this have to do with being an empath? Let’s explore…
You are with your partner and they “seem off”, you interpret that as being an empath and intuitively feeling like something is wrong. In turn, you begin to badger them with questions. I say badger because it likely looks something like this “hey, you, okay? Yeah, why? I don’t know you seem off. Nah, I’m good” and you then immediately spiral into trying to figure out why they are lying because you KNOW something is wrong, you can intuitively feel it. WHAT IF, this is just your people pleasing nature viewing that person as being upset and wanting them to be happy? WHAT IF you are personalizing their behavior because their mannerisms are similar to how you would be acting if something was wrong? WHAT IF, they really are okay and you’re projecting your own emotions on to them but you are convinced it’s because you’re an empath? What I am saying is, explore what YOUR thought patterns are like in that moment. Is this your own anxiety talking because you feel out of control or is there a pattern occurring that you’ve seen in the past? Empathy is a powerful tool that can be used for so much good, however, lately I feel like my clients/people in general are holding on to being an empath as their entire identify and it's actually causing more damage than good.
I fully believe in empathy and intuition, I’m a therapist for fuck’s sake, I use these things every day and it makes me a really great clinician! But I also know, I struggle with intrusive/anxious thoughts and sometimes I can mistake them for intuition and that has caused problems. I think we need to take a long, insightful look at our behaviors before we start labeling them and viewing them as appropriate/part of our nature as an empath. This is how growth happens, it doesn’t happen from refusing to look deeply within, it’s hard, it’s uncomfy and sometimes it sucks. But I promise you it’s fucking worth it! You fucking got his! ~Stef
Commentaires