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Writer's pictureStefanie Palmer

Delayed vs Instant Gratification

This is something that I have thought about so many fucking times and I was recently talking to a friend about this so I decided it was time to write about it. Growing up, I had to wait for EV-ER-Y-THING! Literally, get a 35mm roll of camera film, take 27-30 pictures, drop it off at K-Mart, and in a week, you could pick them up and hope they look good! I would see a movie in the theatre and then wait SIX MONTHS for it to come out on VHS so I could rent it. Needing to find an answer to a random ass question you have, gotta go to the library and look up the subject, go through a card catalogue to find the book, and then look through the book to find the answer. Ordering something you found in the 400-page Sears catalogue and getting it in 4-6 weeks. Sitting next to your stereo, waiting through the talking and commercials to get the EXACT moment your favorite song comes on to record it on your 90-minute mix tape. I could literally go on and on and on! This my friends, is what’s called delayed gratification. The exact definition is the resistance to the temptation of an immediate pleasurable result or event. Now here’s the thing, I wasn’t necessarily resisting temptation back then, that was just how the world worked. BUT because that is how I grew up; I am more willing to wait for things. Albeit, I don’t necessarily enjoy waiting but for the most part I am okay with it. In the last 20 years, there is literally no reason for delayed gratification. You take a picture on your phone; you see it immediately! You order something you want online and can get it within two days. You want to know a random fact about your favorite artist, or have a random burning desire to get a question answered, pull up google and BAM, question answered or the fact is found. Instant gratification is the desire to experience pleasure without delay. This is how the world has functioned for literally the last 20 years and I think it is fucking up people’s priorities and expectations.



Okay Stef, what is the point of all this?! I am bringing this up because it profoundly impacts my business. Think about it, people will EASILY drop $100 on a pair of leggings, sunglasses, shoes, whatever the fuck. But show them your prices for mindset work/therapy and they scoff. Why is that? Well there are several reasons, for one, people would rather feel instant gratification by putting on a brand-new pair of shoes and feeling hot AF, than spend $100 on a session that “could make them feel worse”. I say that because, mindset work, therapy, mental health work in general, is NOT a quick fix. And initially, it could bring up harder feelings. It is delayed gratification at its finest. I have worked on myself for YEARS to get to where I’m at and I am still a work in progress. Spending $100 to talk to someone who will likely ask you to look deep inside doesn’t always sounds appealing, I get it! But in the long run, is that $100 pair of leggings going to teach you how to regulate your emotions, how to communication your wants and needs, or how to truly redefine yourself?! I will answer that for you, it’s a fuck no! This also goes hand in hand with fitness. There is no quick fix to weight loss, it takes time, effort, and fucking PATIENCE! I say all this to say, the next time you want to drop $100 on something you know will instantly make you feel good, ask yourself if this will make you feel good in the long run? Is this going toward something that will help you be the person you are striving to be? If not, check them priorities boo, and remember, YOU FUCKING GOT THIS!

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