Energy vampires….FUCK…they are exactly what they sound like. People who suck the life and energy out of you (and not in a good way, wink, wink!). As humans, we have all engaged with an energy vampire or two or even two hundred! After we have a conversation with them, we feel drained, we feel negative, we feel miserable, essentially, we feel all the things that person had been feeling because we have taken on their emotions. Don’t fret, I am going to give you some tips on how to protect yourself as much as possible from energy vampires. I’m going to break them down as I see fit based on my own personal and professional experiences!

Okay, lets talk about the “complaining vampire” this is the person who literally just wants to fucking complain ALLLLLLL the time. They refuse to see any other perspective other than their own, even if they are seeing things through black tinted, cynical glasses. They tend to emotionally/word vomit all over you without any respect for your own mental health or emotional needs. In these scenarios you have to be crystal clear on your boundaries. If you are at a place where you do not have the mental capacity to respond or even listen, say that! There is no shame or guilt associated with this, we are NO LONGER going to be a fucking emotional dumpster for people. Just a simple, “hey I don’t have it in me to talk today” will suffice. We need to remember we are not everyone’s life line; they have to learn to cope on their own too, just as babies learn to self-soothe. If you are in a profession where you work with people or you are in a relationship with someone who is a “complaining vampire”, one thing to remember is to “put it back on them”. What I mean is, they are looking to you to complain to right? Or perhaps looking for validation and maybe you don’t agree with validating them at that time. Put the responsibility back on them, they want to complain about “xyz” ask “how’s that working for ya?” I do this with clients all the time and it will get a laugh but it will also cause an “aha moment” where they can recognize how complaining will not change anything. Look, we ALL complain, I was a complaining QUEEN until I got tired of hearing my own bullshit and realizing it was doing NOTHING to get me to be where I wanted to be. But I MADE THAT CHOICE for myself, that’s the key.

Next up, the “victim vampire” this is the person who plays the victim in all aspects of their life. They constantly assume people are “out to get them” or “always hurting them” as opposed to recognizing their own responsibility in what happens. Their attitude is often “what did I do to deserve this?” or “why does this always happen to me?” Instead of recognizing their own boundary issues, their communication issue, their negative coping mechanisms or whatever may be an issue, they focus on EVERYONE else’s “wrong doing” and feel they are a target. You can do one of two things in this situation; you can choose to not engage in that behavior or those conversations, or you can call them on their bullshit. Is calling someone on their bullshit easy? NO, but it becomes less scary the more you do it. Hear me out, if you can tell your friend “dude, that is not what’s happening here” or “dude you’re blowing this up, let’s unpack this together and work through your thoughts” the outcome will be much better for the both of you. Some of my own biggest “aha moments” came when someone called me out, whether it was a friend, a mentor, a teacher, whomever. I can handle being called out and reflecting on my own behavior because I’ve done the work!! Now, Stef from 10 years ago woulda just popped off at the mouth and been a defensive asshole if I’m being completely honest!

Last up, the “negative Nancy Vampire”, we ALLLLLL know these. They are the people who are cynical and negative about EVERYTHING. You offer suggestions or helpful tools and they have every reason as to why that won’t work for them, how they’ve done it once and it didn’t work therefore they won’t try it again, or how NO MATTER what they do, things won’t ever get better. Wanna know a secret? I used to be a “negative Nancy vampire”. I truly believed that my cynicism, pessimism, and depression were just who I was and it would never change! I am living, breathing, proof that is NOT true. Does that mean I am always all sunshine and rainbows and a “happy Holly?” NO! It just means I work my ass off to make sure I am not consumed by negative thoughts, I always try to see multiple perspectives, I try new things, I try old things, I try all the things! I have ONE life, one brain, one body, instead of focusing on what is going wrong, what I don’t have, what I can’t do, I choose to focus on what I do have, what I can do, and what is going right. WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE…..SAY IT WITH ME, I CAN CHOOSE TO BE PRESENT, AND I CAN CHOOSE WHERE MY THOUGHTS GO!

Here are some energy cleansing things you can do when you do interact with energy vampires whether it be at home, work, school wherever! Set sacred space, light a candle (black if you have it) for protection, envision a white light encompassing you, as if you are in a bubble. Set the intention that no negative energy is allowed in your space, “wipe off” the energy you absorbed. If you are a crystal collector like me, you can do this with a selenite wand, literally wiping it away from your body and onto the ground. You can also keep crystals near you or on you. Amethyst is amazing for your third eye and for energy protection as well as obsidian, tourmaline, and even quartz (quartz is an amplifier for other crystals). Another great exercise is to do a visualization in the shower, visualize you are washing away all the excess energy you absorbed from these individuals, you are washing it all away! I hope this was helpful! And remember YOU FUCKING GOT THIS!
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