“I’ll be happier when…..” and Other Bullshit We Tell Ourselves…

How many times have you said this or something similar to this? “I’ll be more confident when I lose 15 pounds” or “I’ll be happier when I change jobs” or even “I’ll feel more accomplished once I’m in a relationship.” Why is there this notion that we can ONLY be happier once we’ve reached a certain goal (reasonable or not honestly)? Why can’t we love our bodies now and still work to make changes? Why can’t we appreciate our job for what it does for us, while simultaneously searching for a new one? Why can’t we be content being single and enjoy our freedom to find who we are??

This is definitely a “both/and” situation, where two things can be true at once. Hear me out, I am confident in my current body, while still working every day to get stronger, define my muscles and drop body fat. I can appreciate that my job allows me to pay my bills, provides people with therapy services who may not have access otherwise, and it allows me to be surrounded with other like-minded professionals to gain more knowledge.

I love when people have goals they want to work toward, I work toward goals every day. However, this notion that I can’t be happy until I reach said goal is asking for me to be miserable. For example, if I say I want to clear six figures in my business, does that mean I cannot have gratitude or be incredibly proud making anything less??? HELL NO! Your happiness about situations is a choice. Let me explain.

I can EITHER, choose to be angry that I have not reached said goal, OR I can be grateful/happy/proud etc of all the work I have done to get to where I am. Being happy or even neutral in your current situation does not negate wanting to work toward a goal, instead it allows you the space to appreciate how far you have come on this journey toward the goal.

Think about it like this, how many times have you thought to yourself, “I’ll be so much happier when I lose weight”? Now think back, during that time were you happy or were you still chasing something? I can tell you from experience, while I was happy I lost weight, there was a part of me who wanted to keep going due to not feeling like it was enough and also a part of me who didn’t see the new body I was in. It isn’t until you sit back and reflect that this realization comes to you. Hating your body is not going to magically morph it into what you want it to be. You can appreciate it for the purpose it serves while working to make it stronger!

Moral of the story is that life is so much more tolerable and enjoyable when we can acknowledge “both/and” scenarios versus all or nothing thinking! Remember, you fucking got this!