Okay, I know we are all over talking about, hearing about or being reminded of the world being in a state of chaos due to COVID-19, but hear me out. Has the complete lack of structure and routine totally fucked with you? Cause, same! I have been working from home since March 16th after my son’s school shut down on March 13th, which was a Friday, one of my favorite days ever being the spooky bitch that I am! Now keep in mind, my full-time job is a psychotherapist, I work with people, every day. The transition to telehealth has been…interesting. Here’s the thing, I have always thought working from home would be epic, I would have freedom, I would be able to sleep in due to cut down travel time, I would be comfortable etc, etc. WRONG! While there are definite perks to working from home, like the ones I just mentioned, for me there have been drawbacks.
I completely let all my routines go to shit! Initially, I wasn’t meal prepping on weekends, I would wake up at all different times, I was staying up SUPER late, I was not longer putting much effort into my appearance, I wasn’t even prepping my coffee pot the night before like usual. I am fully aware that surviving is all I was focusing on with all of the changes and complete ambivalence that was occurring in the world, but there comes a point where you need to rip that power back and own that shit. I was snacking all the fucking time because I could, my water intake dropped, my alcohol consumption increased, and my mood was sometimes a roller coaster. I was still working out, which THANK FUCK, because had I not been, the weight gain may have been more severe. In dealing with the chaos of the world at the moment, I have also been on a stressful journey of diagnosing an invisible medical condition and two months later this journey is still ongoing.

I decided on May 1st I would snatch my power back and start my routine again. I started preparing my coffee pot for the morning, I decided to focus more on healthy eating, I am making it a point to attempt to get to bed before midnight, and I am trying to participate in more self-care. Sometimes that looks like applying self-tanner, sometimes that looks like taking a nap, and sometimes that looks like binge watching horror movies and eating yummy snacks because those things make me happy. I know that being at home makes it REAL easy to just lay in bed and not do anything, trust me, there are days I do that. But when that becomes a pattern, a routine, and your reality, you are causing so much more damage than good boo.

If you find yourself falling back into old, poor/negative coping patterns such as myself, it’s time to redefine the COVID-19 version of yourself. I KNOW I can be strict; I KNOW I can control my eating habits; I KNOW structure creates an environment for me to thrive in. And I KNOW I have gotten more comfortable with being uncomfortable like never before during this pandemic. I am a determined ass mutherfucker when I want to be and right now, that’s what I am CHOOSING to be. Yup, I’ve gained a good 10-15 pounds, downsized my full time job/clients (not by choice), shopped/ate/drank excessively but I have also launched my own business, spent more time with my son than I have in years, I have been more vulnerable online in sharing my story and I have helped create a place for women to feel safe and loved and to refine themselves. I live for this shit!
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