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Writer's pictureStefanie Palmer

Questions for a Certified Sex Informed Therapy Provider: Part 2...

The next question I received was "how to address bisexuality when married to the opposite sex" and how it "never feels valid". There are a few different directions I can take this question, but I am going to address it from the point of view of expressing one's sexuality with individuals outside of their relationship. I think it is also essential to know your sexuality is your business. There will ALWAYS be someone who does not agree, believes it's a phase, believes it's wrong, fill in the blank with any other negative reason! If you feel called to share it with someone, OWN IT. Be confident and assertive, nobody can take that away from you. It's important to prioritize your comfort and consider the dynamics of your relationships. Here are some steps for sharing your bisexuality with others:


1.Decide whom to share with: Start by considering whom you want to disclose your bisexuality to. Think about friends, family members, or individuals you trust and feel comfortable talking to about personal matters.

2. Choose an appropriate setting: Find a private and comfortable setting where you can have an uninterrupted conversation. This will allow you to discuss your bisexuality openly and without distractions.


3. Be confident and authentic: Approach the conversation with confidence and authenticity. Remember that your bisexuality is a valid and integral part of your identity, and you have every right to share it with others.

4. Use "I" statements: Frame your disclosure using "I" statements to express your feelings and experiences. For example, say, "I wanted to share something important about myself" or "I've come to understand and embrace my bisexuality."


5. Provide education and clarification: Some people may have misconceptions or limited knowledge about bisexuality. Take the opportunity to educate them about what it means to be bisexual, emphasizing that it doesn't invalidate your commitment to your spouse.



6. Share your journey: Discuss your personal journey of self-discovery and acceptance as a bisexual individual. Share any challenges you may have faced and how you have come to understand and embrace your identity.


7. Address potential concerns: Anticipate that others may have questions or concerns about your bisexuality. Reassure them that being bisexual doesn't change your love for your spouse or the commitment you have to your marriage.


8. Express support from your spouse: If your spouse is comfortable with it, you can mention their support and understanding regarding your bisexuality. This can help alleviate any concerns others may have about the impact on your relationship.


9. Be prepared for diverse reactions: People may respond differently to your disclosure. Some may be accepting and supportive, while others may struggle to understand or react negatively. Be prepared for a range of reactions and remember that their responses reflect their own perspectives and biases.



10. Set boundaries: It's essential to establish boundaries if you're uncomfortable with further questioning or if you prefer not to discuss certain aspects of your bisexuality. Communicate your needs clearly and assertively.


11. Seek support networks: Consider joining LGBTQ+ support groups or seeking counseling to connect with individuals who have similar experiences. These networks can provide guidance, understanding, and a sense of community.


Remember that your decision to disclose your bisexuality is a personal one, and you have the right to choose whom you share this information with. It's important to prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with supportive individuals who respect and embrace your identity. Be proud of who you are and who you choose to love! ~Stef



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