You guys, I have failed. At what you ask? Taking care of me, like fully 100% taking care of me. I lost sight of what social media is for; yes it’s for making connections but it is ultimately my platform to market myself and my business, and I lost sight of that. I cannot tell you the amount of time I have spent MINDLESSLY scrolling for hours just because it is something to do. Or how fast I will jump to respond to someone who has messaged me. I took a break from social media over the weekend to just be present in my life, not worrying about stories, or what pics to take to, what to post about, or responding to my DMs and lemme tell you, it was fucking eye opening. I was giving so much of myself all day every day that I wasn’t living my life for me anymore. I was living for content, or to shout out other people, to market myself, to make people laugh, to make myself relatable, to build people up etc, etc. So much so that I forgot what it was like to get lost in a book for hours on end, or to mindfully spend time with my son and enjoy a movie, FULLY, while not also scrolling. As a society, we have gotten so used to immediate gratification that any sense of waiting feels rude. AH REALITY FUCKING CHECK, I grew up in a time when you had to drop your 35 mm film off and wait a week to see if your pictures of you and your girlfriends turned out or if there are pictures of your thumb covering the lens again! We waited all the fucking time growing up and, in my opinion, that made things more special. Now if someone doesn’t respond to a message immediately or if you “left them on read” you’re clearly pissed at them or you’re an asshole…..UM OR MAYBE YOU JUST HAVE FUCKING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES!
Often times, I would find myself mindlessly scrolling and feeling annoyed at a post creating more irritability and lately it has been me feeling emotionally triggered by the posts about my hometown which is a literal fucking war zone. I had to disconnect, for my sanity I had to say “I need a break.” Other times, I was triggered by content due to me playing the comparison game, which I tell clients DAILY not to do (insert face palm emoji here). If I am being honest, I have felt like I’m drowning for the past few months, financially, emotionally, physically, all of it. It’s like I can’t catch my breath and it’s fucking exhausting. I have decided to take these breaks from social media more often, I need time to reset, I need to have boundaries so people know that I am not emotionally available 24/7 (let’s just be clear, nobody should be emotionally available 24/7 to others). I found myself giving so much energy to so many people on the daily both in my physical job, my personal life, and my virtual world that I was depleted as fuck. Social media can be a beautiful thing when used appropriately, but it can also be a time suck, a dangerous place, and a place for you to lose yourself in the wrong way. When I took a break from social media over the weekend, I read two and a half whole ass books! I can’t tell you the last time I did that, and with spending my days reading, there was no guilt of wasting time, I felt great! I actually can’t wait to have better boundaries and to protect my energy and time. I hope this resonates with you and if you do, perhaps give it a shot!
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